flooded feelings

Feelings are powerful aren't they?
When you try to ignore them or squash them, they provoke and come back at you. They even squeak out physically, in your tone of voice or body language and the more you try to keep your feelings from showing, the stronger the pressure to express them. It is as though you are creating a dam - a wall, to hold back the flood.

The flood of feelings is a bit like an overflowing bath: the flow of emotions ripple and whirl and overflow; seeping through the floor into the next room of your life, communicating the problem with a steady constant drip. You can place a bucket under the drip and this is a messy, superficial solution. Learning some improved communication techniques helps a lot and this will show you how to turn off the tap and give you time to clean up. Once the crisis is over, and the steam clears, it is clear that even this is just a temporary solution to a symptom of a full bath of swirling emotions.

At the slightest twist or wrong turn, your automatic reaction to something that feels dirty, compels you to turn the tap on again and as the bath is still full and ready to bubble up, the water overflows once more.

It isn't until you delve deep and discover the source of the problem and release the block and unplug the bath that the tears dry up for good.

Releasing the emotions and letting go of the old water, so it flows away, leaves you a space to cleanse and revitalise.

Constantly sensing and identifying how the water feels and remaining vigilant to the levels, will encourage you tune in, observe and manage your feelings. Expressing and releasing a fresh flow of emotions feels good! It is key to effective communication and harmonious relationships and it is vital for your health, as squashed emotions stay blocked within your body and in the long term, lead to stress, anxiety, depression and physical ailments.

The amazing thing is that you do not squash your feelings on purpose and often you don't even know you are doing it! We are brought up to believe that it is 'not nice' to show ugly feelings of anger or jealousy and it is seen as childish and unprofessional to express joy and laughter. I recently unravelled some feelings of anger which I had been unaware that I was squashing. A friend spotted my face turning red as I spoke about a situation with a very calm tone of voice! The fantastic thing is that through a magical NLP technique, I uncovered the core of this anger and released it, leaving me to feel free and open again. Sometimes we just need a good friend, an objective, non-judgemental viewpoint to reflect what is happening for you and to delve deeply. There is some incredible research and discoveries that have lead to improved processes and techniques to heal past issues and blocked emotions quickly and easily. The irony is that if you are squashing your emotions un-knowingly, you won't be looking for the processes and information to unblock them!

So what can you do to become more aware of the signs that you are squashing and blocking your feelings?

- notice when your reactions are disproportionate to the situation
- feel your body, especially muscle tension in your shoulders and chest
- listen to your breathing
- feel your pulse
- tune into the tone of your voice as you are speaking with difficult people
- when you notice a feeling coming up - observe it- without control
- observe the response you are getting from your communication
- ask yourself and others if you feel you are hiding or squashing something

When you are aware that you are squashing and blocking your feelings, you can begin to take control and find the resources which leave you free for more effective, clear communication for more effective, vital and fulfilling relationships.

Relationship Reboot Resource

Are you feeling anxious and consumed with thoughts and feelings about a relationship that just isn't working as it should?

Do you jump when the phone rings or or an email dings and you freeze with dread as you anticipate what will be said.

Does even the thought of interacting with this person fill you will tension, making you distracted, grumpy as though there is a cloud over you head, blocking you from even enjoying your relationships which are working!

Whether this person fits into your love life, family life or work life...

It doesn't have to be like that!

I know when you are under the dark cloud of an unhealthy situation, it feels like every way you turn is entangled like an overgrown jungle and dark and miserable and you just can't see a way out.

I am here to show you - there is a way out!

You can actually feel good again. You can enjoy relationships that are nourishing to you and the other person so that you can both be effective in the purpose of the relationship. You can express yourself freely and not feel like you are treading on egg shells. You can enjoy harmony, free from anxiety and stress. You can climb above the entangled branches and see clear sky again and choose your own direction for fulfillment - and I will provide the ladder!

The truth is that YOU are at the heart of all your relationships.

I have worked closely with clients:
To re-connect a 'middle-aged' relationship after the kids left home
To re-connect with adult children and friends, after years of feeling alone and sad.
To feel better about parents divorcing so she could move on and find her dream partner.
To unblock what had restricted a love commitment (now happily married!)
To re-negotiate fantastic terms in her career - with more time off and bonus than they imagined.
To create a different way of communicating with the new CEO, so my client was left alone and trusted to work independently - resulting in his best year ever for bonus and time off!
To detangle from a toxic relationship - release the poison and date with confident magnetism and optimism!

The success and effectiveness of any relationship relies on the same foundations and processes and often break down through poor communication and the underlying motivations. Through self awareness and understanding of your motivations and how you communicate we have a starting point for improving your relationships. I will take your hand and together we unravel the shell and discover your truth in your relationships. It may feel uncomfortable at times - like a snake shedding a skin or a butterfly emerging from a cocoon but as Werner Erhard says:
"The truth will set you free - but it might piss you off first!"
Its so much easier when you have someone to share with, who understands and listens and coaches you through!

Through this blog I will share and you will gain resources and tips to reconnect your relationship and communicate for harmony and effectiveness so your relationships become nourishing and easy!